I’m purdy.
18/02/2010
Just got back from the Berlin film festival and but. of. course. the one paparazzi pic I end up in is post 17 hours of puking due to a stomach virus, and complete with a double chin. Thanks a lot, Universe.
that’s why I keep her around…
29/04/2009
that and her kickass dance moves.
you know just what to say to a girl.
26/04/2009
Jimmy: Do you Pandora?
moi: I have, I don’t regularly.
Jimmy: I feel like there should be a blog/tv station/radio station/magazine that you do…minutely.
moi: I do have fantastic taste in music.
Jimmy: you have fantastic taste in life.
and I’m not even trying to get into your pants.
“The Ball Tapper” Starring Moi.
25/04/2009
On September 9, 2008 at approximately 12:11am, I slapped a douchebag in the balls in the depths of Shanghai Kelly’s. I regret nothing…
Witness Testimony:
Sian-
My rundown of the night is as follows:
1. Cheese plate, intro glass of wine
2. Champagne
3. Meet up with Macdouchebag
4. Repeat step 2
5. See lots of people
6. Macdouche keeps taking ‘laps’
7. Repeat step 2
8. Repeat step 2
9. Leave, sans Macdouche
10. Drinks w/ Steven and straight? (really??) gay? Buddy at rye
11. Repeat
12. Repeat
13. Repeat
14. Hunt for Mexican food
15. End up at a thai resto on the border of the Tenderloin
16. Reverse direction for pizza
17. Caitlin refuses the share
18. We knock over some boxes and trash cans
19. Repeat
20. Repeat
21. Repeat
22. Return of Macdouche
23. BALL PUNCHING
24. And then?
Karen-
“It happened so fast! I didn’t really realize what you were doing until after it happened. But here’s what I love, personally, is that upon seeing him walk in, you got OUT of your chair with the SPECIFIC intent of smacking him in the balls. I mean….awesome”
Moi-
Dear Macdouche’s Balls,
Hey dudes, how’s it hanging? Did you catch the Giant’s game? Bummer, right? So I think we got off to the wrong nut the other night…What was intended as a tongue-in-cheek light tap (a genital slap and tickle of sorts) where we all laugh and continue drinking cause I’m just being “quirky Caitlin,” quickly spiraled out of control and morphed into a full on backhanded strike, complete with follow through. I mean, it got ugly real fast, am I right or am I right?…and that’s my fencing arm, so I know it’s stronger. Details aside, I can only hope you went home that night, swollen, wincing, and the only Hardy Boys within a 3 mile radius being clutched in a pain you only wish on your worst enemies, enlightened and appreciative of where I was coming from. If you ever think about treating a lady like that again, remember, I could be quenching my palate at the same watering hole you’re roaming. And I think it’s pretty clear how spry I am.
Okay, great chat! Btw, your commemorative ice pack is in the mail.
Yours truly,
Caitlin Donovan
